Final Results

Congratulations to the crew of Ants Lives Matter, who took the lead midway through the competition and never relinquished it despite strong challenges from the second- and third-place finishers, Led Zeppelin vs Blimp Bizkit and BOTUS 2016. The final standings and distances covered are detailed in the chart below.

Updated August 23, 2016, 9:00PM.   Mouse over any blimp to display its name.

1859.0km
2825.2km
3824.7km
4776.2km
5753.5km
6692.3km
7687.9km
8681.4km
9641.5km
10638.2km
11610.5km
12583.1km
13486.1km
14462.4km
15423.1km
16398.4km
17351.1km
18135.1km

The best tiebreaker value belongs to Phosphorescent Phoenix, whose prediction of 2:09:05 missed Eliud Kipchoge's (Kenya) winning time of 2:08:44 by a mere 21 seconds. To satisfy anyone's curiosity, here is the entry that would have generated the maximum score possible from the medal counts in Rio:


HMS Hindsight

Distance: 1,395.324km
Gold: 126
China26
Germany17
Hungary8
Jamaica6
Kenya6
Netherlands8
South Korea9
United States46
Silver: 98
Australia11
Brazil6
Denmark6
France18
Great Britain23
Malaysia4
New Zealand9
Serbia4
South Africa6
Sweden6
Ukraine5
Bronze: 113
Azerbaijan10
Canada15
Czech Republic7
Ethiopia5
Italy8
Japan21
Kazakhstan9
Poland6
Russia19
Spain6
Uzbekistan7

 

The Contestants


B.M.S. Not Alice

Position: 17Distance: 351.120km
Gold: 168
United States46
China26
Russia19
Great Britain27
Germany17
Japan12
Australia8
France10
Romania1
Denmark2
Silver: 55
South Korea3
Italy12
Netherlands7
Ukraine5
Hungary3
Canada3
Spain4
Brazil6
Cuba2
Azerbaijan7
Poland3
Bronze: 38
Kazakhstan9
New Zealand5
Iran4
Jamaica2
Belarus4
Kenya1
Czech Republic7
Sweden3
Colombia3
The Baltimore, Maryland Ship Not Alice is now untethered, re-inflated, and ready to compete for this major award!
Tiebreaker: 2:07:56
Entered July 8, 2016, at 9:16 AM.


Principal Heisenberg

Position: 14Distance: 462.367km
Gold: 67
China26
Japan12
Italy8
Hungary8
Romania1
Brazil7
Norway
Turkey1
Sweden2
Poland2
Silver: 67
United States37
Australia11
South Korea3
Spain4
Latvia
North Korea3
Kazakhstan5
Canada3
Greece1
Bronze: 103
Russia19
Germany15
France14
Great Britain17
Cuba4
Bulgaria2
Belarus4
Denmark7
Ukraine4
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Walt is uncertain how this all works. It's an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, stuffed into a chicken salad sandwich that's nibbled on by infinite cats in boxes. He expects this whole thing to blow up before it's over.
Tiebreaker: 2:12:02
Entered July 8, 2016, at 9:53 AM.


SOJOURNER 76

Position: 16Distance: 398.400km
Gold: 160
United States46
China26
Russia19
Germany17
Japan12
Australia8
South Korea9
Netherlands8
Canada4
New Zealand4
Kenya6
Czech Republic1
Silver: 83
Great Britain23
France18
Italy12
Hungary3
Brazil6
Cuba2
Jamaica3
Belarus4
Mexico3
Argentina1
Sweden6
Colombia2
Bronze: 30
Ukraine4
Spain6
Kazakhstan9
Iran4
Slovakia
Denmark7
Sojourners travel the world so they have observed these hearty competitors
Tiebreaker: 02:09:12
Entered July 8, 2016, at 1:29 PM.


Blimpy McBlimpface

Position: 13Distance: 486.080km
Gold: 98
United States46
China26
Italy8
Hungary8
Cuba5
New Zealand4
Norway
Turkey1
Silver: 40
Great Britain23
South Korea3
Bulgaria1
Spain4
Switzerland2
Denmark6
Greece1
Bronze: 124
Finland1
Germany15
Japan21
Australia10
France14
Netherlands4
Canada15
Brazil6
Belgium2
Ukraine4
Austria1
Russia19
Poland6
Romania3
Sweden3
Tiebreaker: 02:06:00
Entered July 8, 2016, at 1:35 PM.


Heliiumhigh Speedster

Position: 11Distance: 610.500km
Gold: 110
United States46
Russia19
Germany17
Japan12
Canada4
Iran3
Jamaica6
Colombia3
Silver: 74
China18
Australia11
South Korea3
Netherlands7
Spain4
Brazil6
New Zealand9
Kenya6
Poland3
Romania1
Sweden6
Bronze: 75
Great Britain17
France14
Italy8
Ukraine4
Hungary4
Angola
Lebanon
Belarus4
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Denmark7
Squeaky voiced but fast, soaring above the rest
Tiebreaker: 02:07:10
Entered July 8, 2016, at 2:55 PM.


WILMA uber Africa

Position: 7Distance: 687.904km
Gold: 112
United States46
Great Britain27
Australia8
Italy8
Hungary8
Brazil7
New Zealand4
Belarus1
Azerbaijan1
Denmark2
Silver: 74
China18
Germany10
France18
Netherlands7
Canada3
Cuba2
Iran1
Kenya6
Poland3
Sweden6
Bronze: 83
Russia19
Japan21
South Korea9
Ukraine4
Spain6
Kazakhstan9
Jamaica2
Czech Republic7
Romania3
Colombia3
Low-flying WILMA uber Africa is lifted by biogas produced onboard by pollen sucked from the air over flowering oil seed trees. Forward thrust is achieved by spurts from its rear, modeled on cow farts. Sponsored by the International Agroforestry Alliance (IAA).
Tiebreaker: 02:09:15
Entered July 12, 2016, at 11:38 AM.


Phosphorescent Phoenix

Position: 12Distance: 583.128km
Gold: 117
United States46
China26
Japan12
Australia8
Netherlands8
Brazil7
New Zealand4
Jamaica6
Silver: 56
Russia18
Germany10
South Korea3
Ukraine5
Canada3
Kenya6
Czech Republic2
Poland3
Denmark6
Bronze: 89
Great Britain17
France14
Italy8
Hungary4
Spain6
Cuba4
Kazakhstan9
Iran4
Belarus4
Azerbaijan10
Romania3
Sweden3
Colombia3
Lighting up the evening sky, this blimp glides across the horizon reminding Olympics viewers of the magnificence of the rejuvenated athletes, in a reborn city. Inherent is the knowledge that this rebirth is short-lived and will inevitably end, to be resurrected in 4 years.
Tiebreaker: 02:09:05
Entered July 13, 2016, at 2:32 PM.


Dirigible of DOOM

Position: 15Distance: 423.120km
Gold: 123
United States46
Russia19
Great Britain27
Brazil7
Spain7
Cuba5
New Zealand4
Kenya6
South Africa2
Silver: 80
China18
Germany10
Australia11
France18
Ukraine5
Canada3
Kazakhstan5
India1
Czech Republic2
Zimbabwe
Denmark6
Venezuela1
Bronze: 43
Japan21
South Korea9
Greece2
Hungary4
Cyprus
Jamaica2
Austria1
Romania3
Dominican Republic1
Tiebreaker: 2:06:11
Entered July 17, 2016, at 1:56 PM.


USS Blimperprise

Position: 9Distance: 641.520km
Gold: 108
United States46
China26
Australia8
Brazil7
Kazakhstan3
New Zealand4
Jamaica6
Kenya6
Ethiopia1
Romania1
Silver: 66
Germany10
Japan8
France18
South Korea3
Netherlands7
Spain4
Belarus4
Denmark6
Sweden6
Bronze: 90
Russia19
Great Britain17
Italy8
Ukraine4
Hungary4
Canada15
Cuba4
Iran4
Czech Republic7
Poland6
South Africa2
Tiebreaker: 2:07:30
Entered July 27, 2016, at 3:09 PM.


The Third-Stage Navigator

Position: 8Distance: 681.408km
Gold: 78
United States46
France10
South Korea9
Hungary8
New Zealand4
Czech Republic1
Silver: 104
China18
Great Britain23
Germany10
Japan8
Australia11
Spain4
Brazil6
Iran1
Belarus4
Kenya6
Romania1
Denmark6
Sweden6
Bronze: 84
Russia19
Italy8
Netherlands4
Ukraine4
Canada15
Cuba4
Kazakhstan9
Jamaica2
Azerbaijan10
Poland6
Colombia3
Tiebreaker: 2:07:30
Entered July 31, 2016, at 9:55 PM.


Heart of Gold

Position: 10Distance: 638.176km
Gold: 112
United States46
Great Britain27
Australia8
Italy8
Ukraine2
Spain7
Cuba5
Iran3
Belarus1
Czech Republic1
Romania1
Colombia3
Silver: 77
China18
Germany10
France18
Netherlands7
Canada3
Kazakhstan5
Jamaica3
Azerbaijan7
Denmark6
Bronze: 74
Russia19
Japan21
South Korea9
Hungary4
Brazil6
New Zealand5
Kenya1
Poland6
Sweden3
Piloted by Neil Young and Zaphod Beeblebrox.
Tiebreaker: 02:06:54
Entered August 1, 2016, at 10:06 PM.


BOTUS 2016

Position: 3Distance: 824.688km
Gold: 138
United States46
China26
Great Britain27
Ukraine2
Hungary8
Brazil7
Kazakhstan3
New Zealand4
Jamaica6
Kenya6
Colombia3
Silver: 83
Russia18
Germany10
Australia11
South Korea3
Italy12
Netherlands7
Cuba2
Iran1
Belarus4
Czech Republic2
Azerbaijan7
Sweden6
Bronze: 72
Japan21
France14
Canada15
Spain6
Poland6
Romania3
Denmark7
A legendary leader of the free world. Reputed to be totally rigged and definitely full of hot air. This hopeful ship of state sports the old red, white, and blue (maybe more red to the right and blue to the left), with green and gold flecks dancing along the edges. Two giddy, angry crews switch off at 12-hour intervals, flipping the course into a relentless zigzag tack. How this ship fares in Rio is anybody's guess. The sobering reality of Zika is staring her down. But one thing is certain -- she - and we - will still be up in the air for another ten weeks after the closing ceremonies. Let's hope for a smooth landing!
Tiebreaker: 02:07:56
Entered August 1, 2016, at 11:28 PM.


Ants Lives Matter

Position: 1Distance: 859.032km
Gold: 108
United States46
China26
Japan12
South Korea9
Ukraine2
Jamaica6
Belarus1
Kenya6
Silver: 82
Great Britain23
Australia11
France18
Netherlands7
Spain4
New Zealand9
Poland3
Romania1
Denmark6
Bronze: 97
Russia19
Germany15
Italy8
Hungary4
Canada15
Brazil6
Iran4
Croatia2
Argentina
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Cuba4
Sweden3
Unknown to the crew of this vessel, this blimp is harboring colonies of ants in its envelope seeking to escape the persecution and execution by the people of their earthly world. Their impression is that they have just secured themselves a ticket to a safe and faraway planet yet little do they know that this blimp won't make it very far. And although they will try to retaliate and bite the crew, their days are numbered...
Tiebreaker: 02:04:38
Entered August 2, 2016, at 8:41 AM.


Sour Lemons

Position: 4Distance: 776.160km
Gold: 98
United States46
China26
Japan12
South Korea9
Cuba5
Silver: 72
Great Britain23
Germany10
Australia11
Netherlands7
Ukraine5
Canada3
New Zealand9
Iran1
Jamaica3
Bronze: 110
Russia19
France14
Italy8
Hungary4
Spain6
Brazil6
Kazakhstan9
Belarus4
Kenya1
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Poland6
Romania3
Denmark7
Sweden3
Colombia3
Crewing this blimp is a grumpy old couple that isn't even sure why they are undertaking this voyage together. Oh yes, he wanted to go and get away but she wouldn't let him have all the fun himself. Now stuck in the gondola together they cannot agree on any strategies and find themselves bickering nonstop. They are in for a looong two weeks...and let's just hope they survive the adventure.
Tiebreaker: 02:07:05
Entered August 2, 2016, at 8:58 AM.


Crypto

Position: 5Distance: 753.548km
Gold: 118
United States46
China26
Russia19
Great Britain27
Silver: 62
Germany10
Japan8
France18
South Korea3
Italy12
Hungary3
Brazil6
Cuba2
Bronze: 103
Australia10
Netherlands4
Ukraine4
Canada15
Spain6
Kazakhstan9
New Zealand5
Iran4
Jamaica2
Belarus4
Kenya1
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Poland6
Romania3
Denmark7
Sweden3
Colombia3
Tiebreaker: 2:10:15
Entered August 2, 2016, at 11:08 AM.


Led Zeppelin
vs Blimp Bizkit

Position: 2Distance: 825.246km
Gold: 127
United States46
China26
Great Britain27
South Korea9
Hungary8
Jamaica6
New Zealand4
Ethiopia1
Silver: 57
Germany10
Australia11
Netherlands7
Spain4
Kenya6
Poland3
Romania1
Denmark6
Czech Republic2
Iran1
Sweden6
Bronze: 114
Russia19
France14
Japan21
Italy8
Ukraine4
Cuba4
Canada15
Brazil6
Belarus4
Kazakhstan9
Azerbaijan10
The structure of this blimp is made of Heavy Metal, some of it straight from the mine and the rest recycled. The noise the engine makes is usually very loud, often repeating catchy patterns and sometimes sounding melodic (although the blimp crew occasionally get accused of plagiarising some of the engine designs from less successful blimps).
Tiebreaker: 02:08:03
Entered August 2, 2016, at 12:48 PM.


This is my blimp. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Position: 18Distance: 135.140km
Gold: 233
United States46
China26
Russia19
Great Britain27
Germany17
Japan12
Australia8
France10
South Korea9
Italy8
Netherlands8
Ukraine2
Hungary8
Canada4
Spain7
Brazil7
Jamaica6
Belarus1
Kenya6
Poland2
Silver: 20
Cuba2
Kazakhstan5
Romania1
Denmark6
Sweden6
Bronze: 29
New Zealand5
Iran4
Czech Republic7
Azerbaijan10
Colombia3
Tiebreaker: 2:10:11
Entered August 2, 2016, at 11:38 PM.


Mog

Position: 6Distance: 692.259km
Gold: 109
United States46
China26
South Korea9
Spain7
Brazil7
Cuba5
Turkey1
Kenya6
Mongolia
Serbia2
Silver: 73
Russia18
Japan8
Australia11
Netherlands7
Canada3
New Zealand9
Czech Republic2
Poland3
Denmark6
South Africa6
Bronze: 87
Great Britain17
Germany15
France14
Italy8
Ukraine4
Hungary4
Kazakhstan9
Iran4
Jamaica2
Azerbaijan10
This blimp is named for an adorable but often befuddled cat. English author Judith Kerr wrote a series of popular children's books about the gray tabby's adventures from 1970 to 2002. Like her namesake, the good airship Mog is round, soft, and covered with thick fur. Hmmm... maybe a bit too soft; we'd better get some more gas. And a really big brush.

Mog is piloted by the Contest Manager, who is ineligible to receive a prize.
Tiebreaker: 2:11:11
Entered August 2, 2016, at 11:59 PM.

 

Results From Rio

Medal-Winning Countries Listed Alphabetically

CountryGSBT
Algeria22
Argentina314
Armenia134
Australia8111029
Austria11
Azerbaijan171018
Bahamas112
Bahrain112
Belarus1449
Belgium2226
Brazil76619
Bulgaria123
Burundi11
Canada431522
China26182670
Chinese Taipei123
Colombia3238
Côte d'Ivoire112
Croatia53210
Cuba52411
Czech Republic12710
CountryGSBT
Denmark26715
Dominican Republic11
Egypt33
Estonia11
Ethiopia1258
Fiji11
Finland11
France10181442
Georgia2147
Germany17101542
Great Britain27231767
Greece3126
Grenada11
Hungary83415
India112
Indonesia123
Independent Athletes112
Iran3148
Ireland22
Israel22
Italy812828
Jamaica63211
CountryGSBT
Japan1282141
Jordan11
Kazakhstan35917
Kenya66113
Kosovo11
Lithuania134
Malaysia415
Mexico325
Mongolia112
Morocco11
Netherlands87419
New Zealand49518
Niger11
Nigeria11
North Korea2327
Norway44
Philippines11
Poland23611
Portugal11
Puerto Rico11
Qatar11
Moldova11
CountryGSBT
Romania1135
Russia19181956
Serbia2428
Singapore11
Slovakia224
Slovenia1214
South Africa26210
South Korea93921
Spain74617
Sweden26311
Switzerland3227
Tajikistan11
Thailand2226
Trinidad & Tobago11
Tunisia33
Turkey1348
Ukraine25411
United Arab Emirates11
United States463738121
Uzbekistan42713
Venezuela123
Vietnam112

 

The Contest

Welcome to Alchemania, the land of alchemists, where the various guilds and subguilds can turn just about anything into gold, silver, or bronze and then turn these metals into just about anything else. The apprentices often get into all kinds of mischief, but the masters try to divert their exuberance into projects that are, if not always useful, at least not dangerous and often quite a bit of fun. This year the Lighter-Than-Air Division of the Psychopneumatic Guild is collaborating with the Subliminal Propulsion League to sponsor a Blimp Derby. As always, the true objective of the masters is to find a way to use the excess metals produced during alchemical practice, and every bit that's transmuted to lift, propel, or steer the blimps will be turned into a non-polluting, gluten-free, dolphin-safe ether. We guarantee it.

So much excess metal is available that the Derby has been opened to anyone; simply use the form at the bottom of this page to describe your blimp, which will be powered by medals won during the 2016 Olympic Games. You choose which countries will supply gold, silver, or bronze; the crack contest team at Laughton.org does the rest! We'll construct your blimp and manage it for you, and if yours should travel the farthest on the combination of medals you've chosen, we'll even deliver a prize of memorably insignificant value.

How to Play

This is a fantasy sports competition, but with a twist. As in all contests at Laughton.org, instead of simply predicting winners, participants engage in a little mental prestidigitation by constructing an otherwise meaningless list to utilize an arbitrary and capricious scoring formula devised by the contest staff. Who wins any Olympic event is almost irrelevant; it's the distribution of medals that counts here.

What, you know nothing about the likely winners in Rio? No problem! Unlike other fantasy sports leagues in which familiarity with the athletes and events involved is an advantage, expertise in Olympic Games is of little use in this contest. As always, a little knowledge of mathematics and statistics can be a boon. The most important skill, of course, is an ability to predict the future. We hope you've been practicing!

Use the Official Entry Form to enter a blimp into the Derby. As the player entering the blimp in the competition, you will be designated its captain, and your first duty is to choose from which countries you want to collect medals and which kind of medal - gold, silver, or bronze - from each. As detailed below, you'll need all three kinds to propel your blimp. Once you've submitted your entry, the Laughton.org contest staff will do the rest: they'll update this page regularly with the latest scores and standings during the Olympic Games, and at the end they'll declare the winner and award a prize.

A Quick Guide to Alchemanian Blimponautics

Each blimp is powered by gold, silver, and bronze medals won by countries in the 2016 Olympics. Gold provides thrust, the primary source of forward motion. Silver provides lift, and while there's less resistance everywhere at higher altitudes, in Alchemania the magnitude of this effect is startling. Bronze provides spare parts, lubricants, tools, food, coins for the soda machine, and everything else necessary to satisfy the needs and cravings of the motley but hardworking crew. A happy crew is a fast crew!

The winner is the captain whose blimp travels the farthest distance during the course of the Olympic Games. The distance a blimp will cover during the competition is defined by this simple formula in which G = gold medals, S = silver medals, B = bronze medals, and D = distance in meters:

G x S x B = D

The captain of each blimp decides which 30 countries will supply medals to power his blimp and which kind of medal to collect from each country. Only the selected kind contributes to the blimp's propulsion. Thus if a captain chooses to collect gold from the USA, all gold medals won by the USA will add to his gold total, but any silver or bronze medals won by the USA will have no effect. The captain makes such a selection for each of 30 countries; the country and medal selections remain in effect for the entire competition and cannot be changed once the Games have started.

REALLY IMPORTANT

No country may appear twice on the same entry form. Duplicating a country selection will result in immediate disqualification. It won't necessarily result in immediate notification. We'll send you a rejection message when we're not too busy doing something else. You should probably just be really careful and avoid this mistake altogether.

Ties

In addition to choosing countries and medals, each captain will provide a prediction for the winning time of the men's marathon. In the event of a tie according to the scoring formula above, the winner will be the player whose prediction is closest to the actual time, regardless of whether the prediction is higher or lower than the winning time. In the highly improbable event that a tie remains after the tiebreaker is considered, the player whose entry was received earlier by Laughton.org will be the winner.

The time must be in hh:mm:ss form. To assist you in making your prediction, here are the winning times of recent men's Olympic marathons:

2012   02:08:01
2008   02:06:32
2004   02:10:55
2000   02:10:11

Entry Details

Use the Official Entry Form below to submit your entry no later than midnight (US Eastern Time) on August 2, 2016. No late entries will be accepted.

Your e-mail address will be the unique identifier for your entry. It will only be used to contact you to confirm acceptance of your entry, to notify you if your entry is rejected, or to contact you regarding prize delivery should you be so lucky. It will not appear anywhere on this website or be used for any other purpose. If you want to change your entry after submitting it, simply submit another using the same address; the new entry will overwrite the previous one as long as it is submitted before the deadline.

Only one entry per e-mail address will be accepted. If you have more than one address, you may submit an entry from each.

The Official Entry Form provides fields for 30 country names and a medal selection for each. For your convenience, the contest staff has already filled in the top 30 medal-winning countries from the 2012 Olympics. It's not a bad list of countries for this competition, and you may do well without changing it. However, if you've done some research and have come up with a better list of your own, you can easily change any country name by clicking on it and choosing a different one from the menu.

All countries are by default set to provide gold medals. Since a zero for silver or bronze will result in a score of zero (see scoring formula above), you will definitely want to change some of these values. Simply click on the button in the appropriate column to collect silver or bronze medals instead.

Only an address, a name for the blimp, country/medal selections, and a tiebreaker prediction are required to enter. However, the contest staff encourages contestants to provide some comments. Perhaps you'd like to describe the construction, purpose, or history of your blimp. Or maybe you have some observations on blimp racing in general you'd like to share. Tell us about your corporate sponsors, your crew, or some special preparations you've made to give you an edge in this competition. But don't ramble endlessly; at about the 200-word mark the contest staff tends to start cutting. Here are a few examples to inspire you:

Cave Blimp The Carlo Ponzi Nakatomi II
Recently unearthed in Sussex, England, this blimp was constructed by Piltdown Man from stone and animal hide over 500,000 years ago. Scientists disagree on whether it ever actually flew; some speculate that the builders were waiting for a volcanic eruption to provide the necessary gas. With the possibility of Britain breaking up as a result of the Brexit vote, the time may finally be near for this blimp to rise. The crew of this blimp has discovered a remarkable way to augment lift. Gas near the top of the envelope has already lifted the blimp as far as it can, so a series of pipes recirculates this gas back to the bottom where it once again can push the vessel upward with greatest force. Engineers are also experimenting with methods for the crew to climb on top of the blimp and pull it up by straps affixed to the envelope. In the upcoming film Fly Hard, this blimp is the site of an hours-long struggle between Bruce Willis and Liam Neeson. Bruce plays a policeman who needs to fly west to save his wife, while Liam plays a security agent who needs to fly east to save his daughter. The blimp weaves back and forth across the Atlantic as each briefly gains the upper hand. Rumors from Hollywood say there'll be car crashes, explosions, and shootouts galore, and eventually the blimp transforms into some kind of robot.

A roster of blimps with medal selections and captain's comments will be added to this page before the opening ceremonies begin in Rio de Janeiro on August 5, 2016. Scores and standings will be posted on this page and updated frequently during the Olympic competition. Only the final tally will count for winning prizes and acquiring the eternal bragging rights associated with victory in a contest at Laughton.org, but intermediate results may confer some fleeting opportunities for one-upmanship at your local watering hole.

The Prizes

As we advised you before the contest started, you are competing for glory, not merchandise. However, there is always merchandise too at Laughton.org, so here are the prizes that will be awarded to the top three finishers:
  • First prize is a solar-powered light-up American flag with pole and spike for planting in whatever surface the winner deems appropriate. When it lights up, you'll know that somewhere somebody is winning something. Probably an American winning something made in China.
  • Second prize is a Chinese wind-up dancing robot. You do the winding, it does the dancing. What Laughton.org lacks in funds for prizes it more than compensates for with imagination!
  • Third prize is a collapsible portable plastic vase. No, there's no rule that prizes have to make sense. The winner can pack this vase on his or her next business trip and fill it with flowers and water to brighten up an otherwise dreary night in some airport hotel. Or if flowers don't brighten the time sufficiently, this vase will hold a considerable volume of beer or sangria.

Protests, Disqualifications, and Recounts

There'll be none of that nonsense here! The judgment of the contest staff is final. But the Olympic Games themselves are quite another matter. The contest staff will wait until 24 hours after the end of the closing ceremony in Rio de Janeiro to certify the results of this contest. Any official changes in medal counts made during these 24 hours will be reflected in the scores on this webpage. After that time, this contest will be closed, and the results will be etched on a palladium disc that will be attached to the next probe that NASA sends beyond the solar system.

Etc.

All contests at Laughton.org are free and open to anyone with an e-mail address.

Illegible, irrational, or improperly formatted entries will be discarded. The Official Entry Form is designed to prevent erroneous entries, but we always expect the unexpected.

Comments (if any) supplied with the entry will appear next to the affiliated blimp in the entry roster that will appear on this page. Voluminous text may be edited, perhaps brutally. Much depends upon the mood of the contest staff when the entry arrives. Entries containing libelous, scurrilous, or scandalous text - which never fail to peeve the contest staff - will be discarded.

Anyone planning to do some research before submitting an entry may want to start at the official Rio Olympics website.

The Alchemanian Blimp Derby
Official Entry Form
This form is no longer active; the deadline has passed.