Final Results
August 11, 2024
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• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • |
252 |
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227 |
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225 |
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| 4 |  |
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223 |
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221 |
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218 |
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212 |
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| 8 |  |
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• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • |
207 |
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200 |
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| 10 |  |
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188 |
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| 11 |  |
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130 |
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| 12 |  |
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100 |
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| 13 |  |
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85 |
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| 14 |  |
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22 |
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Sifan Hassan of the Netherlands won the Women's Marathon with a time of 2:22:55.
Olympic Results
| Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total |
|---|
| United States | 40 | 44 | 42 | 126 |
|---|
| China | 40 | 27 | 24 | 91 |
|---|
| Japan | 20 | 12 | 13 | 45 |
|---|
| Australia | 18 | 19 | 16 | 53 |
|---|
| France | 16 | 26 | 22 | 64 |
|---|
| Netherlands | 15 | 7 | 12 | 34 |
|---|
| Great Britain | 14 | 22 | 29 | 65 |
|---|
| South Korea | 13 | 9 | 10 | 32 |
|---|
| Italy | 12 | 13 | 15 | 40 |
|---|
| Germany | 12 | 13 | 8 | 33 |
|---|
| New Zealand | 10 | 7 | 3 | 20 |
|---|
| Canada | 9 | 7 | 11 | 27 |
|---|
| Uzbekistan | 8 | 2 | 3 | 13 |
|---|
| Hungary | 6 | 7 | 6 | 19 |
|---|
| Spain | 5 | 4 | 9 | 18 |
|---|
| Sweden | 4 | 4 | 3 | 11 |
|---|
| Kenya | 4 | 2 | 5 | 11 |
|---|
| Norway | 4 | 1 | 3 | 8 |
|---|
| Ireland | 4 | 0 | 3 | 7 |
|---|
| Brazil | 3 | 7 | 10 | 20 |
|---|
| Iran | 3 | 6 | 3 | 12 |
|---|
| Ukraine | 3 | 5 | 4 | 12 |
|---|
| Romania | 3 | 4 | 2 | 9 |
|---|
| Georgia | 3 | 3 | 1 | 7 |
|---|
| Belgium | 3 | 1 | 6 | 10 |
|---|
| Bulgaria | 3 | 1 | 3 | 7 |
|---|
| Serbia | 3 | 1 | 1 | 5 |
|---|
| Czech Republic | 3 | 0 | 2 | 5 |
|---|
| Denmark | 2 | 2 | 5 | 9 |
|---|
| Azerbaijan | 2 | 2 | 3 | 7 |
|---|
| Croatia | 2 | 2 | 3 | 7 |
|---|
| Cuba | 2 | 1 | 6 | 9 |
|---|
| Bahrain | 2 | 1 | 1 | 4 |
|---|
| Slovenia | 2 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
|---|
| Chinese Taipei | 2 | 0 | 5 | 7 |
|---|
| Austria | 2 | 0 | 3 | 5 |
|---|
| Hong Kong | 2 | 0 | 2 | 4 |
|---|
| Philippines | 2 | 0 | 2 | 4 |
|---|
| Algeria | 2 | 0 | 1 | 3 |
|---|
| Indonesia | 2 | 0 | 1 | 3 |
|---|
| Israel | 1 | 5 | 1 | 7 |
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| Poland | 1 | 4 | 5 | 10 |
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| Kazakhstan | 1 | 3 | 3 | 7 |
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| Jamaica | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 |
|---|
| South Africa | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 |
|---|
| Thailand | 1 | 3 | 2 | 6 |
|---|
| | | Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total |
|---|
| Ethiopia | 1 | 3 | 0 | 4 |
|---|
| Switzerland | 1 | 2 | 5 | 8 |
|---|
| Ecuador | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 |
|---|
| Portugal | 1 | 2 | 1 | 4 |
|---|
| Greece | 1 | 1 | 6 | 8 |
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| Argentina | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
|---|
| Egypt | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
|---|
| Tunisia | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
|---|
| Botswana | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
|---|
| Chile | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
|---|
| St Lucia | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
|---|
| Uganda | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
|---|
| Dominican Republic | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 |
|---|
| Guatemala | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
|---|
| Morocco | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
|---|
| Dominica | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Pakistan | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Turkey | 0 | 3 | 5 | 8 |
|---|
| Mexico | 0 | 3 | 2 | 5 |
|---|
| Armenia | 0 | 3 | 1 | 4 |
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| Colombia | 0 | 3 | 1 | 4 |
|---|
| North Korea | 0 | 2 | 4 | 6 |
|---|
| Kyrgyzstan | 0 | 2 | 4 | 6 |
|---|
| Lithuania | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
|---|
| India | 0 | 1 | 5 | 6 |
|---|
| Moldova | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 |
|---|
| Kosovo | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
|---|
| Cyprus | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Fiji | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Jordan | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Mongolia | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Panama | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
|---|
| Tajikistan | 0 | 0 | 3 | 3 |
|---|
| Albania | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 |
|---|
| Grenada | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 |
|---|
| Malaysia | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 |
|---|
| Puerto Rico | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 |
|---|
| Cape Verde | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Ivory Coast | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Refugee Olympic Team | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Peru | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Qatar | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Singapore | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Slovakia | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
| Zambia | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
|---|
|
|---|
The Teams
| | 130 |
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| | 207 |
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| | 22 |
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| | 223 |
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| | 218 |
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| | 252 |
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| | 212 |
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| | 227 |
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| | 225 |
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| | 100 |
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| | 188 |
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| | 200 |
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| | 221 |
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| | 85 |
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The Contest
Games involving tossing small objects into containers have been played as long as small objects have existed
along with containers big enough to hold them but small enough to make the effort challenging.
This activity has been immortalized in images such as Albrecht Dürer's woodcut of Roman soldiers enjoying a game
after the conquest of Carthage, Nicolas Poussin's painting of heavenly manna-pong, and ubiquitous contemporary
pop images of pong-playing household pets (for whom, we trust, a healthy treat is substituted for the traditional beer).
In honor of this ancient tradition, Laughton.org presents its newest contest that simulates things falling into other things.
Despite the title, beer is optional, and ping-pong balls are not involved.
Other than that, this event is just like beer pong, albeit played online instead of on a table.
The object is to collect virtual medals as they're awarded at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris.
You do this by catching them with ten cups (you see - it really is like beer pong).
However, each cup can only catch specific groups of medals that you select, so you'll want to configure them carefully.
At the end of the Olympic competition, whoever has caught the most medals wins!
How to Play
The roster of countries that participate in the Olympics can vary, and a "country" listed in the official
standings may actually indicate a team of athletes who do not represent a sovereign nation.
Therefore the crack contest staff of Laughton.org is dispensing with our usual practice of choosing countries
in international sporting events; instead we are inviting players to base their entries entirely on medal counts
as reported by Olympic officials. Unlike other fantasy sports leagues in which familiarity with the athletes
and events involved is an advantage, expertise in Olympic Games is of little use in this contest.
A bit of knowledge about mathematics and statistics, however, can be a boon.
You will have ten cups to collect medals: three for gold, three for silver, three for bronze,
and one for all three kinds. Each cup can only collect medals in groups equal to the metal and value assigned it.
Thus, if you set one of the Gold cups to 3, it will collect gold medals from every country that wins exactly 3 gold medals
- no more, no less. Any other medals the same country wins have no effect on the score of the Gold 3 cup.
The score for each cup will be the number of medals it contains at the end of the competition,
and the player's score will be the total count of medals in all his cups.
An example
Here is an array of cups with values assigned:
In the array above, if a country wins exactly 3 gold medals, the Gold 3 cup collects them, and the player gains 3 points.
However, if the same country wins a 4th gold medal, the points are lost because the player does not have a Gold cup with
a value of 4. Similarly, if a country wins 2 silver medals, the Silver 2 cup adds 2 points to the player's score.
If the same country wins a 3rd silver medal, 2 points are deducted from the Silver 2 cup, but 3 points are added to the
Silver 3 cup.
The same scoring process applies to every country.
Thus, continuing with the array above, if 5 countries win exactly 3 gold medals, the Gold 3 cup will score a total of 15
points. The All 20 cup score is the sum of all medals won by countries that each won a total of 20 medals regardless of color.
Medals score in every cup for which they meet the criteria. Thus, in this example, if a country earns 6 gold, 6 silver,
and 8 bronze medals, the Gold, Silver, and Bronze cups would each gain the indicated number of points, and the All cup would
gain 20.
Choosing your cup values
You may assign any numeric value to any cup with only one restriction: you may not have two identical cups.
This means that you cannot have two Gold 3 cups, but you may have a Gold 3, Silver 3, Bronze 3, and All 3 if you wish.
Will you assign low numbers to assure yourself of a slow but steady influx of points?
Or will you risk aiming high, where you can gain many points but also risk winding up with zero?
Choose wisely! Use the Official Entry Form to configure your array of cups. Once you've submitted your entry,
the Laughton.org contest staff will do the rest. They'll post a roster of competitors and their selections shortly
before the beginning of the Olympic Games. During the Games, they'll update this page regularly with the latest scores
and standings during the Olympic Games, and at the end they'll declare the winner and award a prize.
Tiebreakers
In addition to assigning values to cups, each player will provide a prediction for the winning time
of the Women's Marathon, which is scheduled to start at 8:00am Paris time on August 11.
In a departure from previous competitions, the women's marathon is being run after the men's, which will be held on August 10.
The Official Entry Form provides fields for specifying hours, minutes, and seconds.
In the event of a tie in points derived from medals, the winner will be the player whose prediction is closest to the winning
time of this event, regardless of whether the prediction is higher or lower than the official result.
In the absurdly improbable event that a tie remains after the tiebreaker is considered, the player who assigned the highest
value to any single cup will prevail. Should a tie still result, the player whose entry was received earlier by Laughton.org
will be the winner.
The marathon course runs through central Paris. You can find the full description
here.
To further assist you in making your prediction, here are the winning times of the last five Olympic women's marathons:
| | 2021 | Peres Jepchirchir | (Kenya) | 2:27:20 |
| 2016 | Jemima Sumgong | (Kenya) | 2:24:04 |
| 2012 | Tiki Gelana | (Ethiopia) | 2:23:07 |
| 2008 | Constantina Tomescu | (Romania) | 2:26.44 |
| 2004 | Mizuki Noguchi | (Japan) | 2:26:20 |
More useful information
Your Entry
Beer pong is often played as a team sport on college campuses or at house parties.
The Contest Manager and staff suggest that you enter a team in the name space on the Official Entry Form.
Perhaps you belong to a bowling team, drum circle, rowing crew, medieval-combat society, fraternity, sorority, coven,
gang, cult, or other organization you'd like to represent. Better yet, have some fun and invent a fictional group!
Either way, please provide some descriptive text in the field provided. Original and amusing entries may inspire
the addition of some new artwork to this contest page.
Use the Official Entry Form (linked at the bottom of this page) to submit your entry no later than
11:59pm (US Eastern Time) on Tuesday, July 23, 2024.
No late entries will be accepted. Your e-mail address will be the unique identifier for your entry.
It will only be used to contact you to confirm acceptance of your entry, to notify you if your entry is rejected,
or to contact you regarding prize delivery. It will not appear anywhere on this website or be used for any other purpose.
Only one entry per e-mail address will be accepted. If you have more than one address, you may submit an entry from each.
If you want to change your entry after submitting it, simply submit another using the same address; the new entry will
overwrite the previous one as long as it is submitted before the deadline.
Only an address, team name, cup values, and a tiebreaker prediction are required to enter.
However, adding some descriptive text is an important part of the fun both for you and for other contestants
who will read your entry. Please don't leave the description blank!
We encourage contestants to get creative and even a bit crazy, and the contest staff is quite liberal in terms of
content submitted by contestants, but racist, sexist, or otherwise scurrilous comments are prohibited.
Laughton.org is a family-friendly site, so we cannot divulge here what happens when someone submits offensive text,
but we can assure you that such players do not win our contests.
A roster of entries will be posted on this page before the opening ceremonies begin in Paris on July 26, 2024
(some competition begins on July 24, which is the reason for the July 23 entry deadline).
Scores and standings will be posted on this page and updated frequently during the Olympic competition.
Only the final tally will count for winning prizes and acquiring the eternal bragging rights associated with victory
in a contest at Laughton.org, but intermediate results may confer some fleeting opportunities for one-upmanship at your
local community center, pool, bowling alley, or saloon.
Prizes
Skateboarding, surfing, breakdancing, and climbing made their debut in the 2024 Paris Olympics, and flag football and squash are scheduled to appear in the 2028 Games in Los Angeles. Analyzing the trend with the latest in artificial intelligence, the crack contest staff of Laughton.org has selected prizes that represent possible new competitions in future Olympic Games.
First prize: an electric spoon!
Yes, it's battery powered.
No, it doesn't stir all by itself. The spoon continuously monitors the temperature of whatever you're stirring with it.
The temperature is displayed on the handle; you may need to consult a stirring coach to learn the proper grip
to stir and watch the display simultaneously. If it were easy, it wouldn't be a potential Olympic sport!
It comes packaged with a cheap off-brand battery that we don't trust, so we'll also include a brand new as-seen-on-TV battery.
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Second prize: circle kabobs!
Who said shish-kabobs have to be straight?
Not anyone at Laughton.org! Impale your chunks of food on these curved skewers and cook them wherever they fit.
The set of four could also be used for juggling (a future Olympic sport?) or magic tricks (probably not a future Olympic sport),
but be careful lest you put your eye out!
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Third prize: expanding sponges!
Unlike ordinary sponges
that may expand a little when dampened, these are compressed sponges that expand a lot - to Olympic proportions, even!
This set of six in assorted colors will be handy for cleaning up Olympic-sized messes in the kitchen made with
non-electric spoons or straight kabobs.
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The deadline has passed. No more entries will be accepted.
Troops slogging across a battlefield in mud and snow with
explosions bursting all around them. Carrying their banner at the head
of their attack and singing anthems of courage and strength. Resting only
to reload and refresh. Not having had chance to change clothes in days
they decide to change underwear. Joe changes with Fred, George changes
with Harry, Alex changes with Henry, etc. Rations are cold beans and hardtack
with an occasional cup of beer. The sound of bullets crash around --pong,
pong, pong.
Happy Hooligans are a rag tag bunch of fun loving under achievers
who would be clowns but they can't afford the shoes. Travelling in a VW
Beetle with their luggage on the roof (it won't fit inside with the 13
of them).Working the street for handouts and beer they seem to pong-pong
from place to place never landing in one spot for long. Their future is
unpredictable but wherever they end up it will be fun. They just hope
not to come in last.
Following the Hero of the Imperium where ever he may lead.
Gunnar, Adley, Ryan, and Tony definitely rocked some pong
on their way to greatness. I actually tried this time!
In the spirit of the father of the modern Olympic games,
Pierre de Coubertin, the Team Coubertin aims to gather points from all
the countries that are there to celebrate the third summer Olympic games
held in Paris.
This month many monarchs are indulging in collecting sustenance
from the butterfly bush outside my window. They generously share the bush
with many other types of butterfly, and seem to feel that the bush offers
an infinite supply of sustenance for them. Not only do they lack competitiveness,
I suspect that they lack the ability to count. So they all think they
are winning every hour of every day. Bliss . . .
Members of this butterfly's team have evolved to sport a
mostly grey partial disguise in their youth. Lepidopterists theorize that
this fools their opponents into thinking they are actually a poisonous
grey/black type of butterfly, so they live longer and continue to win more.
Golden Angel was my horse's name, although she was neither
golden nor an angel. She and I were a team for gymkhana competitions,
but she would bloat up to prevent me cinching the saddle tightly enough
to prevent it from sliding off her back when I grabbed the saddle horn
and leaned over to pick up balls from the ground while cantering around
the track. If I could not get the saddle tight I had to default that day's
competition. Maybe that is why the Olympics has no horse events.
The Sound But Boring Solutions Collective in association
with the Play-It-Safe Consortium presents "We're Sure We'll Do At Least
Average".
Brews & Throws excels in both offensive and defensive strategies,
capitalizing on each player's unique strengths to maintain control of
the table and outmaneuver opponents with calculated plays. Led by Captain
Hopshot and team players Keg Crusher, Ale Assassin, Lager Sniper, Stout
Slayer, and Pilsner Pourer, their focus on accuracy and adaptability ensures
they aim for victory with every shot. Olympic motto: Precision, Pints, Paris!
The "Rusty Romans" provide vintage charm and battle-hardened
grit. Like the ancient Roman legions, they are a stalwart force that has
seen its fair share of battles and has emerged with a patina of experience
and wisdom. Despite the wear and tear, the Rusty Romans are still formidable
opponents, with a determination to prove that even the most seasoned veterans
can still hold their own on the field. With their weathered armor and
battle-worn equipment, the Rusty Romans are a force to be reckoned with,
ready to take on any challenge that comes their way. This was under no
cirmstances written by AI.
A team of mathematical geniuses and sporting prodigies that
used all their mental acuity and physical prowess to pull these numbers
together from absolutely nowhere. No one could possibly select a better
array of random digits.
Family friendly, eh? Well, my family was inconvenienced by
another family paragliding home from night cryptoanalysis school on the moon.
All humans are innately gourmets, but many have been corrupted
by exposure to ketchup and other ingestible slurries. Founded in 1954
by cookbook author L. Ron Buttered, the Church teaches that such unfortunate
individuals can be restored to their gourmet nature through a diet rich
in châteaubriand, croûte aux morilles, soupe à l'oignon,
moules marinière à la crème, île flottante,
crêpes, crème brûlée, and other dishes filled
with delicious accent marks. Due to the expense of such extravagant eating,
the Church counts among its members a remarkable concentration of Hollywood
celebrities, business tycoons, and others who can afford to follow its
precepts. They meet periodically to commune with The Cosmic Croissant,
the celestial source of culinary enlightenment and savory wisdom.
