1  The Wombles  
4,600
2  Wench Bench  
3,685
3  Magical Midfielder's Tour  
3,320
4  Kanadian Kickers  
2,560
5  Weeping Widows  
2,365
6  Pogo  
2,280
7  The Sisters Karamazov  
1,910
8  Soccer Mamas  
1,530
9  The Supremes  
1,230
10  Pouncing Tigresses  
1,110
11  Mar's Marauders  
815

 

2
0
 
3
0
 
4
1
 
6
0
 
 
3
1
 
3
0
 
2
1
 
1
0
 
 
4
1
 
3
0
 
1
0
 
3
0
 
 
1
0
 
3
0
 
5
0
 
1
1
 
 
7
1
 
1
1
 
3
1
 
6
1
 
 
3
0
 
3
0
 
2
1
 
1
0
 
 
2
1
 
1
0
 
7
1
 
1
0
 
 
3
0
 
2
1
 
3
1
 
2
1
 
 

107

 

 

The Wombles
Harrow, England
4,600
 
GER 4CAN 1 100
GER 3JPN 0 180
GER 6ARG 1 630
GER 7RUS 1 1,190
GER 3USA 0 660
GER 2SWE 1 490
 
SWE 1NKO 0   0
SWE 3NGR 0   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
 
CAN 1CHI 0   0
SWE 2CAN 1  50
USA 3CAN 1  75
USA 3SWE 1  75
USA 5NGR 0 200
USA 3NKO 0 275
USA 1NOR 0 300
GER 3USA 0   0
CHI 1GHA 0 100
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0 100
CAN 1CHI 0-100
NOR 2FRA 0   0
BRA 4NOR 1   0
CHI 1GHA 0  50
RUS 3GHA 0 150
GHA 2AUS 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1  50
GER 7RUS 1  25
92 

 

Wench Bench
Manassas, Virginia, USA
3,685
 
USA 3SWE 1  75
SWE 1NKO 0   0
SWE 3NGR 0   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
GER 2SWE 1  50
 
GER 7RUS 1   0
GER 3USA 0   0
GER 2SWE 1  75
 
USA 1NOR 0  25
GER 3USA 0   0
USA 3CAN 1 100
CHI 1GHA 0 1,000
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0 1,000
CAN 1CHI 0 1,000
BRA 3SKO 0 100
FRA 1SKO 0 100
NOR 7SKO 1   0
NOR 2FRA 0 100
FRA 1SKO 0   0
BRA 1FRA 1   0
RUS 2AUS 1   0
CHI 1AUS 1  20
GHA 2AUS 1  30
SWE 2BRA 1  10
319 
Bonus points for a cousin?

 

Magical Midfielder's Tour
Badwater, California, USA
3,320
 
GER 4CAN 1 200
GER 3JPN 0 150
GER 6ARG 1 300
GER 7RUS 1 350
GER 3USA 0 150
GER 2SWE 1   0
 
CAN 1CHI 0   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
USA 3CAN 1   0
USA 3SWE 1 100
USA 5NGR 0 200
USA 3NKO 0 200
USA 1NOR 0 200
GER 3USA 0   0
BRA 3SKO 0  30
FRA 1SKO 0  10
NOR 7SKO 1  80
NOR 2FRA 0   0
BRA 4NOR 1 100
NOR 7SKO 1   0
USA 1NOR 0  50
JPN 6ARG 0 100
GER 3JPN 0 100
CAN 3JPN 1   0
CAN 1CHI 0 1,000
216 
Sure is cold outside, I'm shiverin' like a dog! Glad I'm in 'ere doin' this contest...

 

Kanadian Kickers
Calgary, Alberta, Canada
2,560
 
GER 4CAN 1 100
CAN 3ARG 0   0
CAN 3JPN 1   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
SWE 2CAN 1  50
USA 3CAN 1  75
 
USA 3SWE 1 200
USA 5NGR 0 500
USA 3NKO 0 300
USA 1NOR 0 100
GER 3USA 0-300
USA 3CAN 1 200
 
GER 4CAN 1 200
GER 3JPN 0 150
GER 6ARG 1 300
GER 7RUS 1 350
GER 3USA 0 150
GER 2SWE 1   0
 
SWE 2CAN 1  30
GER 2SWE 1  30
BRA 3SKO 0   0
BRA 4NOR 1   0
BRA 1FRA 1  50
SWE 2BRA 1  75
CHI 1GHA 0   0
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
GER 7RUS 1   0
160 

 

Weeping Widows
Blumberg, Germany
2,365
 
GER 7RUS 1 350
GER 3USA 0 150
GER 2SWE 1   0
 
USA 1NOR 0  25
GER 3USA 0   0
USA 3CAN 1 100
RUS 2AUS 1  50
CHI 1AUS 1  50
GHA 2AUS 1  50
JPN 6ARG 0 150
GER 3JPN 0  75
CAN 3JPN 1  75
NKO 3NGR 0   0
CHI 1GHA 0 100
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0 100
CAN 1CHI 0 100
BRA 3SKO 0  60
BRA 4NOR 1 220
BRA 1FRA 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
BRA 4NOR 1  10
NOR 7SKO 1 700
USA 1NOR 0   0
196 
Auf geht's Witwen!

 

Pogo
Ahakishaka, Tanzania
2,280
 
GER 4CAN 1   0
CAN 3ARG 0 300
CAN 3JPN 1   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
USA 3CAN 1   0
 
GER 7RUS 1 300
GER 3USA 0 300
GER 2SWE 1 300
USA 3SWE 1  60
USA 5NGR 0 300
USA 3NKO 0 300
USA 1NOR 0 120
GER 3USA 0   0
NKO 3NGR 0   0
BRA 3SKO 0   0
BRA 4NOR 1   0
BRA 1FRA 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
JPN 6ARG 0 300
CAN 3ARG 0-75
GER 6ARG 1-175
RUS 2AUS 1  50
CHI 1AUS 1   0
GHA 2AUS 1  50
GER 7RUS 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1  50
SWE 2CAN 1 100
GER 2SWE 1   0
97 

 

The Sisters Karamazov
Washington, DC, USA
1,910
 
GER 7RUS 1   0
GER 3USA 0   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
 
SWE 2BRA 1 100
SWE 2CAN 1 100
GER 2SWE 1-20
NOR 2FRA 0 100
FRA 1SKO 0 100
BRA 1FRA 1   0
CHI 1GHA 0  50
RUS 3GHA 0 150
GHA 2AUS 1   0
GER 4CAN 1   0
CAN 3ARG 0   0
USA 3SWE 1  75
USA 5NGR 0 200
USA 3NKO 0 275
USA 1NOR 0 300
GER 3USA 0   0
NOR 2FRA 0  30
BRA 4NOR 1   0
BRA 1FRA 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0 275
CAN 1CHI 0   0
GER 7RUS 1 175
161 
This entry comes from Laughton.org and is not eligible to receive a prize.

 

Soccer Mamas
Gaithersburg, Maryland, USA
1,530
 
GER 7RUS 1   0
GER 3USA 0   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
USA 3SWE 1  60
USA 5NGR 0 300
USA 3NKO 0 300
USA 1NOR 0 120
GER 3USA 0   0
BRA 3SKO 0  75
BRA 4NOR 1 100
BRA 1FRA 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1  50
JPN 6ARG 0   0
CAN 3ARG 0   0
GER 6ARG 1   0
BRA 3SKO 0   0
NKO 3NGR 0 100
USA 5NGR 0 100
SWE 3NGR 0 100
BRA 4NOR 1  25
NOR 7SKO 1 200
USA 1NOR 0   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
95 

 

The Supremes
Ashtabula, Ohio, USA
1,230
 
GER 4CAN 1   0
GER 3JPN 0   0
GER 6ARG 1   0
GER 7RUS 1   0
GER 3USA 0   0
GER 2SWE 1  50
 
SWE 2BRA 1   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
USA 3SWE 1  60
USA 5NGR 0 300
USA 3NKO 0 300
USA 1NOR 0 120
GER 3USA 0   0
NOR 2FRA 0 200
BRA 4NOR 1   0
CHI 1GHA 0   0
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
CHI 1GHA 0 100
RUS 3GHA 0 100
GHA 2AUS 1   0
FRA 1SKO 0   0
BRA 1FRA 1   0
USA 3NKO 0   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
150 
Hey, what about the Middle East and the Subcontinent?  They have fantasies, too!

 

Pouncing Tigresses
San Diego, California, USA
1,110
 
GER 4CAN 1 100
GER 3JPN 0 200
GER 6ARG 1 100
GER 7RUS 1 100
GER 3USA 0 200
GER 2SWE 1 100
 
SWE 2BRA 1   0
SWE 2CAN 1   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
CHI 1GHA 0   0
CHI 1AUS 1   0
CHI 1RUS 0   0
CAN 1CHI 0   0
JPN 6ARG 0 600
GER 3JPN 0-300
CAN 3JPN 1-200
CHI 1GHA 0   0
RUS 3GHA 0   0
NOR 2FRA 0 100
BRA 4NOR 1   0
NOR 7SKO 1   0
USA 1NOR 0 100
NOR 7SKO 1  10
GER 7RUS 1   0
96 
Next time the game should be Quidditch, which I understand about as much as soccer.

 

Mar's Marauders
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
815
 
USA 3SWE 1  40
USA 5NGR 0  50
USA 3NKO 0  30
USA 1NOR 0  10
GER 3USA 0  30
USA 3CAN 1  40
 
USA 3SWE 1  10
SWE 1NKO 0 100
SWE 3NGR 0  30
SWE 2BRA 1  20
SWE 2CAN 1  20
GER 2SWE 1  10
 
GER 7RUS 1   0
GER 3USA 0   0
GER 2SWE 1   0
BRA 3SKO 0 100
BRA 4NOR 1   0
BRA 1FRA 1   0
SWE 2BRA 1   0
JPN 6ARG 0   0
RUS 2AUS 1-75
RUS 3GHA 0-75
CHI 1RUS 0-25
GER 7RUS 1 400
RUS 2AUS 1  50
CHI 1AUS 1   0
BRA 1FRA 1  50
USA 1NOR 0   0
119 
David's contests are always fun, but sometimes you need to be a rocket scientist to understand the rules! Keep them coming, David!

 

 

First place: Belaya Pantera (White Panther) received the top prize as Russia’s least radioactive vodka. It was the favorite of Dostoevsky, banned by Stalin (who confiscated thousands of bottles for himself), and Pravda even denied its existence. According to rumor, this vodka was served on the space station Mir.

Click on the bottle for a closer look.

Second place: The card game “Girl Genius: the Works” doesn’t contain a Russian translation, but that’s no problem: none of my Russian friends entered the contest! If you believe that the whole world is one big machine in which we're all merely cogs, this game will explain how everything works.
Third place: "Fluxx" is a simple card game. You can learn it in one minute, play an entire game in five. I’ll try to make my next contest that simple!

 


No cheap plastic souvenirs. No commercial sponsors. No up-close and personal interviews. Few survivors. That’s how tournaments were managed back in the good old days – the Middle Ages. Laughton.org brings those days back with its newest contest: the Medieval Fantasy Women’s Football League.

 

 

On this page you'll find a list of the sixteen countries competing in the Women’s World Cup. You’ll also find a roster of twenty-four players; in keeping with the nature of the tournament, they are all female, and they're all characters you'd typically encounter in a medieval fantasy game. Compose a team by choosing ten different players – five starters and five reserves – and assigning them to ten different countries. Your players will add varying numbers of points to (or occasionally subtract from) your team score depending upon their countries' performance. The winning team is the one which has the most points at the end of the tournament.

 

The countries are divided into four groups. Competition begins with group play, in which each country plays every other country in its group. Group play matches may end in ties. At the end of group play, the top two countries from each group advance; the bottom two in each group are eliminated. Play continues with matches in which the loser is eliminated. These matches cannot end in ties; if necessary, the outcome is determined by overtime or a shootout. When the field has been narrowed down to four countries, there are no more eliminations: each of the final four teams advances to the championship match or to the consolation match (for third place). You can find out more about the Women's World Cup, including country rankings and match schedules, at its official website.

 

For purposes of this contest, goals are scored only during regular or overtime play. Although a successful kick in a shootout may be referred to as a "goal" by the unwashed, it is not included in the goal count. For example, a match that is tied 3-3 at the end of overtime and then decided by a 5-4 shootout would satisfy the conditions both for equal number of goals (three each) and for victory (for the team that won the shootout). In match scores posted on this page, red digits indicate shootout results; i.e., 35 - 34.

Each player on your team can only score points if she is active when her country plays a World Cup match. At the beginning of the tournament, all five of your starters are active. Only five of your players can be active at any time. When a starter's country is eliminated from the tournament, the starter is benched and a reserve player is activated. Some players may also be benched for other reasons; see individual descriptions for details. A benched player cannot score points or return to active play. Reserve players are activated in the order in which you list them on your entry, but if a player's country has been eliminated before she is activated, she is skipped and the next player on the list is activated instead. When you run out of reserves, your team simply continues with its remaining eligible players (if any).

Each medieval fantasy player scores points according to a different formula. Depending upon a country's prospects in the World Cup tournament, it may be beneficial to assign a player that adds many points for many goals, or it may be better to assign a player that adds points when her country loses. Extensive testing using results from past World Cup tournaments indicates that a high score can be achieved with almost any roster of players if they are assigned to the right countries. Read the individual scoring rules carefully: some players can generate hundreds or even thousands of points, but they may also pose a risk of subtracting points under certain conditions.

If two or more teams are tied for high score at the end of the tournament, then the team whose tiebreaker prediction is closest to the total number of goals scored by all World Cup teams in all matches wins. It doesn't matter if the prediction is higher or lower than the actual total. If the tiebreaker predictions are equally accurate, then the team which posted the greatest number of points for any match wins; if the scores are equal, then the winner will be determined by comparing the second-highest scores, third-highest, etc.

 

Follow these simple steps to submit your team roster:

  1. Choose ten players from the list below.
  2. Assign each to a country participating in the Women’s World Cup.
  3. Don’t use any player or any country more than once.
  4. Choose a name for your team. Make it no more than 32 characters, including spaces. I'll try to fit it in if it's a bit longer, but I make no guarantees.
  5. For tiebreaking purposes, predict the number of goals that will be scored by all countries in all matches during the 2003 Women's World Cup tournament.
  6. Submit your team roster via e-mail in the format shown at right. The first five players are your starters; the rest are reserves, activated in the order listed.

The "home town" of your team is the city, town, village, hamlet, oblast, or unincorporated area where you live, work, or study, the city where you were born, adopted, or cloned, or, if you prefer, it can the place that you want everyone to believe is the city, town, village, oblast, hamlet, or unincorporated area where you live, work, study, or were born, adopted, or cloned. When all entries have been received, teams and home towns will be posted on this page; no other identifying information will appear unless you choose to include it in your comments. In your comments you may write anything you like about your team, city, football, other medieval fantasy pursuits, or anything else you'd like to share with the other competitiors. There's no strict limit on the length of comments, but you are encouraged to keep them brief; Laughton.org may edit lengthy texts.

 

Send your entry to contest@laughton.org in this format:
To: contest@laughton.org
From: you@your.mail
Subject: Team Name

Home town
player 1
country 1
player 2
country 2
player 3
country 3
player 4
country 4
player 5
country 5
player 6
country 6
player 7
country 7
player 8
country 8
player 9
country 9
player 10
country 10
tiebreaker
comments (optional)

Here's an example of a properly formatted entry:
To: contest@laughton.org
From: you@your.mail
Subject: The Game Dames

Washington, DC, USA
Huntress
Norway
Assassin
USA
Minstrel
Korea
Champion
Australia
Queen
Nigeria
Dancer
Germany
Sorceress
Italy
Dragon
Brazil
Thief
China
Gambler
Japan
155
I've been a fan of Laughton.org for years, but this is the first time I've entered a contest.

 

Complete team rosters will be posted on this page prior to the start of the World Cup tournament. Scores will be posted regularly during the tournament (daily if circumstances allow). Laughton.org will contact the winner(s) by e-mail at the end of the competition to arrange delivery of the prize(s).



Group A

Group B

Group C

Group D

 



When two countries play a Women's World Cup match, your active players assigned to those countries add or subtract points from your total score. Each one uses a different scoring formula. Read carefully before you select your players and countries!

 

The Angel wants you to be happy no matter how her country fares in the tournament. She adds 10 points for each goal scored by her country and by its opponent, and she'll still add 10 points even if the final score in a match is 0-0. The Huntress stalks only the most difficult and valuable quarry. In a match decided by a shootout, she adds 500 points for every goal scored by both sides (minimum 500), and she doubles that amount if her country is victorious. If there is no shootout, she adds nothing.
The Assassin's objective is to eliminate her own country. If she loses a match, she adds 25 points for each of her opponent’s goals, and she doubles that amount if her own country fails to score any goals. The Jester gives you a chance to say “just kidding” about some of your unfortunate choices. If her country wins its match, she adds up all negative scores you have accumulated, multiplies the sum by –2, and adds the result. She only plays one match and is then benched regardless of the outcome.
The Barbarian has little interest in which side wins; she only wants to see a decisive victory. If the margin of victory is more than one goal, she adds 25 points for every goal scored by both sides. If the margin of victory is only 1 goal, or if the match is a draw, she adds nothing and is benched. The Minstrel loves harmony and balance. She adds 25 points for every goal scored in a match if the result is a draw or if one team's score is exactly double or triple the other's.
The Champion grows stronger with each victory. As long as her country wins matches, she adds 10 points for the first goal it scores, 20 for the second, 30 for the third, etc., and the increases continue from match to match. If her country loses a match, she adds no points and is benched. In the event of a draw, she scores no points, and the sequence of goal values in the next victory restarts at 10. The Princess insists on winning by an impressive margin. She adds 50 points for each goal scored by her country if it wins by 2 goals or more.
The Creature From the Abyss rarely visits the surface, and she only stays around long enough to watch one score. If her match ends with a 1-0 score, regardless of who wins, she adds 1,000 points. For any other result she adds nothing. Not to be outdone by the Princess, the Queen adds 100 points for each goal scored by her country if it wins by 3 goals or more.
The Dancer takes two steps forward and one step back; how many points she gives you depends on where she stops. If the total number of goals scored in her match is even, she adds 50 points for each; if odd, she subtracts 25 for each. If neither side scores any goals, she is benched. The Scribe dutifully adds 25 points to your score for every goal her country scores, and if it wins, she adds 25 for each of the opponent’s goals as well.
The Devil makes you a tempting offer: she adds 50 points for every goal her country scores if it wins, and if it loses she only subtracts 10 points for every goal scored by the opponent. But if the match ends in a tie, she subtracts 100 points and is immediately benched! The Sorceress refuses to cast the same spell twice. After every match she adds 50 points to your score for each of her country’s goals if it has not scored the same number in a previous match. If her country repeats a score, she adds nothing and is benched.
Beware the Dragon, who will turn on you if a match goes badly. She adds 100 points for each of her country’s goals and subtracts 100 for each scored by the opponent. Here we see the Spy sending a secret message to aid her country’s opponents. If her country loses a match, she adds 25 points for each of the opponent’s goals and another 25 for each if it loses in a shootout; if her country fails to score, she doubles the amount.
The Fairy disdains high scores. She adds 25 points if her country scores only 2 goals, 50 if it scores only 1, 100 if it scores none at all, and if her country wins, she doubles the amount. As you can see, the Thief has been punished severely for her crimes, yet she persists in stealing points. When her country wins a match, she steals the highest score posted by any other player on your team and adds it again to your total (the stolen points do not disappear from their original position). She will not steal the same points twice. If her country loses, she is benched.
The Gambler plays long odds in pursuit of great gains. If her country scores exactly 7 or 11 goals in a match, she adds 100 points for each goal scored by both sides. If the opponent scores exactly 7 or 11 goals in a match, she adds 100 points for each goal scored by both sides. If the total of all goals scored in a match is 7 or 11, she adds 100 points for every goal scored by her own country. If she makes 7/11 "the hard way" - that is, more than one condition is true – she doubles the points for all applicable conditions. The Vampire generously rewards those who come back from the dead. She adds 10 points for each goal her country scores in a match, and if her country lost its previous match, she multiplies that amount by 10.
The Genie uses different spells to conjure your points to take advantage of high or low scores. She adds 25 points for each of the winner’s goals or 50 points for each of the loser’s, whichever is higher. However, if the score is 0-0, she is benched. The Warrior tolerates nothing short of victory. She adds 100 points for each of her country's victories, double that amount if the opponent fails to score any goals. If the match is drawn or her country loses, she adds no points and is benched.
The Ghost can summon points from past matches. When her country wins a match, she adds 25 points for each of its goals scored both in the current match and in all previous matches. If her country loses, she is benched. The Witch delights in frustrating players on both sides. She adds 100 points if her country fails to score a goal in a match, she adds 100 points if her opponent fails to score, and she adds another 100 points if both conditions are true. If the match ends in a scoreless tie (that is, there is no shootout), she adds a total of 1,000 points.

 

Click here to download the complete rules in PDF format.


Questions? Comments? Send them to david@laughton.org. Questions and answers that may be useful to all participants will be posted on a FAQ page linked to this page.