|
|
|
| Final Results |
| Superhero | Score |
| Rank | Name | Good | Evil | Total |
| 1
|
 | 37 | 12 |
          49 |
| 2
|
 | 27 | 18 |
45 |
| 3
|
 | 37 | 6 |
43 |
| 4
|
 | 22 | 15 |
37 |
| 5
|
 | 16 | 4 |
20 |
| 6
|
 | 15 | 0 |
15 |
| 7
|
 | 6 | 3 |
9 |
| 8
|
 | 12 | -5 |
7 |
| 9
|
 | 15 | 17 |
          32 |
| 10
|
 | 2 | 6 |
8 |
| 11
|
 | 2 | 2 |
4 |
| 12
|
 | -2 | -2 |
-4 |
August 25, 2008:
The results of this contest are now final. Congratulations to The Amazing Olfactero, OzBot, and Mr. Black Tiger (whom we've just learned was actually in Beijing during the Olympics) for their prizewinning efforts. Curious competitors may wish to know that the highest possible score of 63 would have been earned by picking these countries:
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China: 19 |
Japan or Cuba: 7 |
| Silver |
France: 7 |
Germany or Russia: 6 |
| Bronze |
China: 14 |
Russia: 10 |
| Total |
40 |
23 |
The contest staff of Laughton.org thanks everyone for playing and hopes that you all had fun. Be sure to watch for an announcement in October of our next contest, which will be based on the upcoming US presidential election!
|
| August 24: | |  | |
The Amazing Olfactero is truly amazing as he vanquishes Evil and all of the other competitors! The contest staff of Laughton.org will wait 24 hours to let the IOC to resolve any disputes, and then the results of this competition will be declared official, final, and irrevocable. Until then, we send our tentative congratulations to the presumptive winner and our confirmed thanks to everyone who played! |
|
| August 23: | |  | |
OzBot defeats Evil and moves into the lead alongside The Amazing Olfactero! It looks like this competition won't be decided until the last medal is awarded. The Puffin joins the victory of Good over Evil too! And just for fun, the folks at Cracked.com asked readers to submit some ideas for improving the Olympics. Our little online contest may not be as "kick-ass" as the suggestions they received, but it's certainly safer. |
|
| August 22:
The IOC has launched an inquiry into the eligibility of several Chinese medal winners. As always,
Laughton.org uses the official medal counts to compute its contest scores. However, the results of this contest will be declared final 24 hours after the close of the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Subsequent changes in Olympic medal counts (if any) will not affect scores, standings, or prize winners on this page. |
| August 21: | |  | |
Eagle Man scores for the side of Good! In quick succession so do Mr. Black Tiger (our new leader), Smoke, and StyleQueen! And scoring for Irony is the IOC, which is discontinuing softball as an Olympic sport at the end of the Beijing Games due largely to the USA's invincibility. USA lost the gold-medal game to Japan today. |
|
| August 20: | |  | |
Finally, Good begins to prevail over Evil! Congratulations to The Amazing Olfactero for being the first to turn the tide! |
|
| August 19:
Somebody asked a bunch of current Olympic athletes, "who's your favorite superhero?" None of them picked any of our competitors, but the folks at Speedo thought you'd want to watch them answer in a YouTube video anyway. |
| August 18:
Honestly, the contest staff of
Laughton.org does not make this stuff up: US presidential candidates McCain and Obama pick their favorite superheroes. |
| August 17:
Marvel Comics offers some suggestions for Olympic host cities that may be particularly well suited to superheroes.
|
| August 16:
Michael Phelps may be mortal after all: he won today's race by a mere 0.01 second. Perhaps he's beginning to feel the strain of doing the impossible on a daily basis. Scientific American takes a look at superhero stress.
|
| August 15:
Some competitors and coaches have complained about the religious facilities at Beijing's Olympic Village. According to a Washington Post report, the host country has banned teams from bringing their own chaplains and instead is supplying Chinese clergy, some of whom speak the necessary languages poorly. Imagine the difficulty of supplying chaplains to an Olympic village full of superheroes, some of whom practice religions not native to Earth.
|
| August 14:
American swimmer Michael Phelps has now won more Olympic gold medals than any other competitor. Some call him the "greatest Olympian ever," but how does he stack up against Aquaman? Sports Illustrated investigates.
|
| August 13:
Is your superhero running short on supplies? Send him/her/it to the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Company!
|
| August 12:
Laughton.org reminds competitors that pretending to be a superhero is harmless fun - in moderation. Don't get carried away.
|
| August 11:
Scroll down to see pictures and descriptions of the prizes!
|
| August 10:
Are you as baffled as the staff of Laughton.org in attempting to interpret the standings and guess which superhero is most likely to win? We certainly are. While you ponder such imponderables, take comfort in knowing that we'll be announcing the prizes tomorrow.
|
| August 9:
From the ancient tales of Achilles, Beowulf, The Monkey King, and other fantastic warriors to the latest graphic novels and movies, superhero stories always begin with Evil holding an advantage over Good. The standings chart shows that our contest is no exception! As the Olympic Games progress and more medals are awarded, it's up to our group of superheroes to shift the balance from the Evil column to the Good. Laughton.org apologizes for the surly attitude of the symbols currently appearing in the chart; obviously they are reacting to the concentration of so many Evil points. We're sure that more congenial "smilies" will appear once the balance tilts toward Good. Thanks to PlanetSmilies.com for the animated smilies.
|
| August 8:
The contest staff of Laughton.org thanks everyone who took the time to create a superhero competitor for our contest. Creating and maintaining a superhero isn't easy, as the brief history of one of the entries demonstrates: Econometricop began life as Economan, but when an online search revealed that the name was already taken, our competitor changed his name to avoid any confusion. Econometricop remains committed to the side of good. On the other hand - as the economists say - Economan has strayed. Read the unpleasant details.
|
Prizes
| First prize is a set of replica antique Chinese coins, including the legendary chia-ching, the first coin to be used in Chinese cash registers in the early 19th century. They're made in China, and they've been sitting on a shelf in a novelty store for what seems like centuries, so for replicas they're actually fairly authentic. |
 |
Second prize is a box of Hello Panda biscuits. They're chocolate-filled and feature special "sports printing" in honor of this contest. Well, OK, they're printed in honor of the Olympics, but we're sure the bakers will produce a Special Online Edition if they ever become aware of Laughton.org. |
 |
| Third prize is also a box of Hello Panda biscuits, but while second prize is chocolate, this box is strawberry. If you want chocolate, you have to try harder. |
 |
Special Bonus Prize! You may be wondering, "doesn't the first-prize winner get anything to eat?" We at Laughton.org wondered that too, and we wondered it first, so we've had some time to do something about it. In addition to the replica coins, the winner of this contest also gets a gummy bear. That's right: one gummy bear. But it's not an ordinary human gummy bear; no, it's a giant mutant gummy bear! In the photo it's displayed next to a French 1-franc coin to illustrate its extraordinary size. It seems like only yesterday that the franc was bragging about how much bigger it would appear in the photo; who's bigger now, eh, franc? |
 |
|
Medals Awarded |
| Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total | |
Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total | |
Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | Total |
| United States | 36 | 38 | 36 | 110 | | China | 51 | 21 | 28 | 100 | | Russia | 23 | 21 | 28 | 72 |
| Great Britain | 19 | 13 | 15 | 47 | | Australia | 14 | 15 | 17 | 46 | | Germany | 16 | 10 | 15 | 41 |
| France | 7 | 16 | 17 | 40 | | South Korea | 13 | 10 | 8 | 31 | | Italy | 8 | 10 | 10 | 28 |
| Ukraine | 7 | 5 | 15 | 27 | | Japan | 9 | 6 | 10 | 25 | | Cuba | 2 | 11 | 11 | 24 |
| Belarus | 4 | 5 | 10 | 19 | | Canada | 3 | 9 | 6 | 18 | | Spain | 5 | 10 | 3 | 18 |
| Netherlands | 7 | 5 | 4 | 16 | | Brazil | 3 | 4 | 8 | 15 | | Kenya | 5 | 5 | 4 | 14 |
| Kazakhstan | 2 | 4 | 7 | 13 | | Jamaica | 6 | 3 | 2 | 11 | | Hungary | 3 | 5 | 2 | 10 |
| Norway | 3 | 5 | 2 | 10 | | Poland | 3 | 6 | 1 | 10 | | New Zealand | 3 | 1 | 5 | 9 |
| Romania | 4 | 1 | 3 | 8 | | Turkey | 1 | 4 | 3 | 8 | | Azerbaijan | 1 | 2 | 4 | 7 |
| Denmark | 2 | 2 | 3 | 7 | | Ethiopia | 4 | 1 | 2 | 7 | | Argentina | 2 | 0 | 4 | 6 |
| Armenia | 0 | 0 | 6 | 6 | | Czech Republic | 3 | 3 | 0 | 6 | | Georgia | 3 | 0 | 3 | 6 |
| North Korea | 2 | 1 | 3 | 6 | | Switzerland | 2 | 0 | 4 | 6 | | Slovakia | 3 | 2 | 1 | 6 |
| Uzbekistan | 1 | 2 | 3 | 6 | | Bulgaria | 1 | 1 | 3 | 5 | | Croatia | 0 | 2 | 3 | 5 |
| Indonesia | 1 | 1 | 3 | 5 | | Lithuania | 0 | 2 | 3 | 5 | | Slovenia | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 |
| Sweden | 0 | 4 | 1 | 5 | | Finland | 1 | 1 | 2 | 4 | | Greece | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| Mongolia | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 | | Nigeria | 0 | 1 | 3 | 4 | | Thailand | 2 | 2 | 0 | 4 |
| Chinese Taipei | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | | Zimbabwe | 1 | 3 | 0 | 4 | | Austria | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 |
| India | 1 | 0 | 2 | 3 | | Ireland | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | | Latvia | 1 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| Mexico | 2 | 0 | 1 | 3 | | Serbia | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | | Algeria | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| The Bahamas | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | | Belgium | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | | Colombia | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
| Dominican Republic | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | | Estonia | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | | Iran | 1 | 0 | 1 | 2 |
| Kyrgyzstan | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | | Morocco | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | | Portugal | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 |
| Tajikistan | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 | | Trinidad and Tobago | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | | Afghanistan | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Bahrain | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | | Chile | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | | Cameroon | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 |
| Ecuador | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | | Egypt | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | | Iceland | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Israel | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | | Malaysia | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | | Moldova | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Mauritius | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | | Panama | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | | South Africa | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
| Singapore | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | | Sudan | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | | Togo | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
| Tunisia | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | | Venezuela | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | | Vietnam | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 |
Samuel Kamau Wanjiru of Kenya won the men's marathon in 02:06:32.
|
|
The Superheroes |
|
| 49 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
Japan
16(04) - 9(08) = 7 |
| Silver |
China
21(08) - 17(04) = 4 |
Japan
9(04) - 6(08) = 3 |
| Bronze |
China
28(08) - 14(04) = 14 |
Japan
12(04) - 10(08) = 2 |
| Total |
37 |
12 |
|
|
|
The Amazing Olfactero can turn himself into any kind of gas. He puts
this to good use by overwhelming criminals, usually via
their noses, but in his gas cloud form he can also attack
via the eyes and mouth. He can usually find his way around
or through protective suits.
Tiebreaker: 2:07:30
|
|
|
| 45 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
Japan
16(04) - 9(08) = 7 |
| Silver |
Germany
10(08) - 16(04) = -6 |
United States
39(04) - 38(08) = 1 |
| Bronze |
China
28(08) - 14(04) = 14 |
Russia
38(04) - 28(08) = 10 |
| Total |
27 |
18 |
|
|
|
OzBot effectively uses the power of mind control to help hapless and misguided victims battle the forces of twisted, surrealistic logic and find the path back to Kansas.
Motto: No matter how many good steps you take, a single bad one can end your whole journey.
Tiebreaker: 2:11:20
|
|
|
| 43 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
Russia
27(04) - 23(08) = 4 |
| Silver |
China
21(08) - 17(04) = 4 |
Germany
16(04) - 10(08) = 6 |
| Bronze |
China
28(08) - 14(04) = 14 |
France
13(04) - 17(08) = -4 |
| Total |
37 |
6 |
|
|
|
Mr. Black Tiger is happy to get home field advantage to compete in a race.
Tiebreaker: 02:07:30
|
|
|
| 37 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
United States
35(04) - 36(08) = -1 |
| Silver |
China
21(08) - 17(04) = 4 |
Germany
16(04) - 10(08) = 6 |
| Bronze |
South Korea
8(08) - 9(04) = -1 |
Russia
38(04) - 28(08) = 10 |
| Total |
22 |
15 |
|
|
|
If you were born to be bad, D-N-Abler will shrink herself to subatomic size and fix your problem at the genetic level, enabling you to be a better person whether you want to or not. She has the power to preserve the good genes while removing the bad, although if she finds that most of your genes are bad, getting rid of them may have unintended side effects. Why, there was one particularly evil fellow whom she turned into a newt. Sure, he got better, but only in a good-vs-evil way: he's still a newt.
Tiebreaker: 1:48:22
|
|
|
| 20 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
United Arab Emirates
1(04) - 0(08) = 1 |
| Silver |
United States
38(08) - 39(04) = -1 |
New Zealand
2(04) - 1(08) = 1 |
| Bronze |
Japan
10(08) - 12(04) = -2 |
Spain
5(04) - 3(08) = 2 |
| Total |
16 |
4 |
|
|
|
Inspired by countless heroes who fly under the radar and lead quiet lives, StyleQueen is, in real life, unassuming and private. Barely noticeable working in a big metropolitan city, only when she is alerted on her special cellphone (which monitors crimes) does she step out in style and begin to shine. Her secret weapon is to dazzle people with her beauty and style so that they become disoriented and confused. She changes costumes with lightning speed, each being more chic and in vogue than the previous one. Women are mesmerized by her clothes; men by her beauty and bearing. Trying to describe her to the press or police is useless - she never wears the same outfit or hairstyle twice. Although a natural athlete, her ability to run like the wind and dazzle like the stars is what sets her apart..... If you meet her once, you will never forget her.
Tiebreaker: 01:53:55
|
|
|
| 15 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
Mongolia
2(08) - 0(04) = 2 |
Dominican Republic
1(04) - 1(08) = 0 |
| Silver |
Spain
10(08) - 11(04) = -1 |
Jamaica
1(04) - 3(08) = -2 |
| Bronze |
China
28(08) - 14(04) = 14 |
Japan
12(04) - 10(08) = 2 |
| Total |
15 |
0 |
|
|
|
No, he doesn't smoke, he is Smoke. Born with the mutant ability to turn his body at will, either in whole or in part, into unsolid coherent smoke, he uses his powers for infiltration and defense. Since his powers are not offensive in nature, he became a high-red belt in Phoenix gun-fu (often mispronounced kung-fu) in order to take on his enemies headon. He prefers to tackle the seedy underbelly of New York and leave the super-criminals to the "glory boys". A bit cynical, he doesn't dress in anything flashy: just a black jumpsuit treated with special chemicals so that it can become smoke and return to a normal coherent state, just like its wearer. He doesn't mantain a secret identity, as he has no family and avoids making friends. His blank white hair is very disconcerting, as are his piercing yellow eyes.
Quote: "I'll leave the Itchy Skull or the Atomic Fish or whatever wacko shows up next for the cape types. Instead, I'll be busting up a drug cartel."
Tiebreaker: 1:35:44
|
|
|
| 9 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
United States
36(08) - 35(04) = 1 |
Japan
16(04) - 9(08) = 7 |
| Silver |
Great Britain
13(08) - 9(04) = 4 |
Canada
6(04) - 9(08) = -3 |
| Bronze |
Australia
17(08) - 16(04) = 1 |
Norway
1(04) - 2(08) = -1 |
| Total |
6 |
3 |
|
|
|
Inspired by my high school life-sciences (biology, zoology, environmental science, marine biology) teacher, The Puffin is an environmental crusader. She fights the forces that threaten life on Earth by any means. Staunchly dedicated to eliminating pollution, global warming, invasive species, extinction caused by mankind, and so forth, she is equally dedicated to protecting rare and endangered species and educating the human populace about environmental stewardship and knowledge of the workings of life on Earth, the complex web it forms, and our role in it (she can often be found on beaches saving horseshoe crabs from being thrown into trash cans and giving a lecture on how important the creatures are). Similar to Batman, she is trained in abilities of stealth and martial arts. Her training has made her fiercely agile as well, and she carries a fashionable walking cane, the top of which is a decorative golden puffin-head statue. She uses this as a melee weapon, but it also contains several concealed functions, such as a flame thrower, taser, remote detonators, and the like. When she summons all of her strength, she can summon "the power of nature" to come to her aid, wielding complete control over the animal and plant kingdoms as well as limited control over some fungi and protists. For example, she can summon vines to instantly grow and ensnare a foe, or telepathically summon animals to take the foe down, akin to Aquaman's abilities. She is also aided by her constant companion, a small genetically modified puffin named Puffy that she rescued from a gene-splicing research facility run by a shadowy organization. Puffy has the elemental power of ice and can summon blizzards and shoot freezing Ice Beams. The Puffin has a rough personality, quick to anger, verbally assaulting her enemies, often insulting their intelligence (or lack thereof), but deep down is a caring soul dedicated to protecting the living world.
Motto: "Save the planet, or I'll kick your ass!"
Nemesis: The Republiphant
Tiebreaker: 02:03:06
|
|
|
| 7 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
South Africa
0(08) - 1(04) = -1 |
Ukraine
9(04) - 7(08) = 2 |
| Silver |
Hong Kong
0(08) - 1(04) = -1 |
Cuba
7(04) - 11(08) = -4 |
| Bronze |
China
28(08) - 14(04) = 14 |
Belarus
7(04) - 10(08) = -3 |
| Total |
12 |
-5 |
|
|
|
Eagle Man has incredible eyesight, phenomenal hearing, and super strength.
He fears nothing but is noble and wise, ever championing the underdog and
protecting the bullied.
Tiebreaker: 2:05:37
|
|
|
| 32 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
China
51(08) - 32(04) = 19 |
Greece
6(04) - 0(08) = 6 |
| Silver |
Australia
15(08) - 16(04) = -1 |
Spain
11(04) - 10(08) = 1 |
| Bronze |
Germany
15(08) - 18(04) = -3 |
Russia
38(04) - 28(08) = 10 |
| Total |
15 |
17 |
|
|
|
The Asterisk rescues anyone anytime anywhere!*
*Services are provided to subscribers only, not available in Alaska and Hawaii. Victims subscribing to multiple rescue services must exhaust all other benefits before submitting an application to The Asterisk. In no way does submission of a Deliverance Application Form guarantee or imply imminent rescue. Every effort is made to provide successful and complete rescues as defined by FEMA and other US government agencies. Because weather and other factors may affect operating conditions, departures and arrivals cannot be guaranteed. During periods of Red or Orange Level alerts, The Asterisk may be overbooked. A person denied rescue at such a time may be entitled to rescue later at a discounted rate. Call for nonfictional assistance if your peril lasts more than six hours. Individual results vary based on threat intensity, number of antagonists, local terrain characteristics, net income and assets, age, weight, and faithfulness to The Asterisk's patented Peril Prevention Program®. These statements have not been evaluated by the Justice League.*
*The Asterisk is employed by Laughton.org and is not eligible to receive a prize.
Tiebreaker: 01:55:10
|
|
|
| 8 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
United States
36(08) - 35(04) = 1 |
Russia
27(04) - 23(08) = 4 |
| Silver |
China
21(08) - 17(04) = 4 |
Australia
16(04) - 15(08) = 1 |
| Bronze |
Germany
15(08) - 18(04) = -3 |
Italy
11(04) - 10(08) = 1 |
| Total |
2 |
6 |
|
|
|
Limp Limbs has one super power, and that is the ability to make each
of his limbs extremely limp. He cannot be grabbed, pushed, pulled, or
otherwise harassed. He is available to assist on many missions, often
confusing his foes with his inability to stand still and actually
fight. Be careful when traveling with Limp Limbs in the car, as he
will not be able to stay in the seat belt. Sudden stops may cause
him to splatter on the windshield.
Tiebreaker: 02:05:02
|
|
|
| 4 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
Russia
23(08) - 27(04) = -4 |
Italy
10(04) - 8(08) = 2 |
| Silver |
China
21(08) - 17(04) = 4 |
Canada
6(04) - 9(08) = -3 |
| Bronze |
India
2(08) - 0(04) = 2 |
Denmark
6(04) - 3(08) = 3 |
| Total |
2 |
2 |
|
|
|
Econometricop is a good cop.
His secret power is knowing that this year's growth of GNP determines everything important: who wins or loses elections, who wins or loses games, whether welfare is going up or down, and how fast the polar icecap is melting. Econometricop attacks with measurements, sharpened to a fine point of one-tenth of one per cent, which he hurls like
bolts of lightning at enemies after boring them to death with jargon. Econometricop hates home cooking because Mom's labor does not add to the GNP. His favorite pastime: counting the number of burgers McDonalds has sold, because every one has been counted in the GNP. His proudest achievement: declaring when the disaster all around us may officially be called a "recession." Econometricop is careful to document all his forecasts. For example, his country representatives in this game have the highest and lowest GNP growth rates in 2008 (source: The Economist, July 12th, 2008, p. 105).
Tiebreaker: 01:52:00
|
|
|
| -4 |
|
Good |
Evil |
| Gold |
Italy
8(08) - 10(04) = -2 |
Russia
27(04) - 23(08) = 4 |
| Silver |
Canada
9(08) - 6(04) = 3 |
China
17(04) - 21(08) = -4 |
| Bronze |
Denmark
3(08) - 6(04) = -3 |
India
0(04) - 2(08) = -2 |
| Total |
-2 |
-2 |
|
|
|
The Bag Lady, who looks like Marge Simpson at 90, is a terrorist who has a sweet deal with Homeland Security. She lives at Reagan National Airport and is frequently noticed shuffling around the airport carrying bags of miscellaneous stuff. Actually, these are contraband items that she collects from Airport Security checkpoints and sells back to travelers in the Duty-Free shops. Selling prices depend on the intended destruction, which The Bag Lady can discern with her Superhero Powers. Homeland Security gets half the profit. The Bag Lady's drooping bouffant hairdo changes color to match the code of security risk. Since she prefers orange, she usually manages the terror throughput to maintain that color.
Tiebreaker: 02:01:00
|
|
|
| |
| Rules |
| |
 |
Have you ever dreamed of being a superhero? Have you watched movies such as Superman, Spider-Man, Hellboy, Batman, X-Men, and Hancock and wished that you too had super strength, speed, or other extraordinary powers? If you have, here's your chance to turn those daydreams into virtual reality: design a superhero to compete in the SUPERHEROLYMPICS, a contest based on the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China!
While the real Olympic athletes will display their speed, strength, agility, and a variety of skills in Beijing, our superherolympians will compete in only one event: the eternal struggle between good and evil. To do this, you will choose three countries to represent your superhero's effort for good, and three to represent the forces of evil. You'll want to score as many points as possible, but just as in the movies (and the comic books on which they're based), you only win if good prevails over evil.*
|
 |
Scoring
Each superhero's score is based on the number of Olympic medals earned by the six countries that represent him/her/it. These countries are arranged as follows:
| | GOOD | EVIL |
| GOLD | country | country |
| SILVER | country | country |
| BRONZE | country | country |
- A country in the "good" column earns points for winning more medals in the 2008 Olympics than it did in the 2004 Olympics. The country's score is computed as (medals in 2008) - (medals in 2004).
- A country in the "evil" column earns points for winning more medals in 2004 than it does in 2008. The country's score is computed as (medals in 2004) - (medals in 2008).
- In each row, only medals of the indicated color will be counted. Other medals are ignored.
|
 |
The Oslo Rule
Ever since the Lillehammer Uprising of 1994, Laughton.org has periodically allowed Norwegians (and everyone else) to put the same country in as many positions as they like in contest entries. There are no limits on how many times you use any country in this contest. Go ahead, put Norway in all six positions if you want. Enjoy your lutefisk.
|
 |
Prizes
At the end of the competition, a small prize will be awarded to the player whose superhero has accumulated more good points than evil points and has the greatest number of points overall. Players whose superheroes have more evil points than good or an equal number of good and evil points are ineligible to win the prize. If there are many entries, second and third prizes may be awarded.
|
 |
Tiebreaker
In the event of a tie according to the scoring method described above, the winner will be the player whose tiebreaker prediction is closest to the actual winning time - in hours, minutes, and seconds - of the men's marathon which is scheduled to start in Tiananmen Square at 7:30am on August 24.
|
How to Enter
E-mail your entry to contest@Laughton.org in the following format:
Put "contest entry" in the subject line; our spam filter may delete your entry otherwise. In the body of the message put the following information:
- The name of your superhero (no more than 32 characters, please)
- Six countries arranged in three rows of two as described above
- Your prediction for the winning marathon time in hh:mm:ss format
- A description of your superhero
At right is an example of a properly formatted entry.
|
|
Date: August 1, 2008
From: you@yourmail.com
To: contest@laughton.org
Subject: Contest Entry
Mister Impeccable
Mexico Norway
China Uruguay
USA Australia
01:55:59
Inspired by his childhood hero, Politenessman (a recurring
character in the National Lampoon), Mister Impeccable not
only rescues with amazing neatness, civility, and grace,
but also with unrivalled precision. He manages to arrive
just in the nick of time - not a moment too soon - with
just enough firepower, the right size batteries, and the
exact amount of rope, wire, or duct tape to either capture
the villain or free the hostage. His motto: Rescues are
performed in the order in which they were requested; please
be patient, and thank you for calling Mister Impeccable!
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Participants are encouraged to be creative in describing their superheroes. Feel free to include any details such as your superhero's special powers, weaknesses, motto, costume, sidekick, or nemesis. Under what circumstances is he/she/it called to action, in what city, territory, country, planet, or dimension, and against what kind of villainy? Does your superhero use a magic word, alien device, or other supernatural aid? Let your imagination run wild, but please limit the text to about 250 words; longer entries will be accepted but may be edited for page-formatting purposes. Here are a few examples to spur your imagination:
Atfaq stands ready to provide answers in the special category that we at Laughton.org like to call All Too Frequently Asked Questions. Here's a sample of his work:
- Q: Will you accept a late entry?
- A: No.
- Q: How about if it's just a few minutes late?
- A: No.
- Q: Not even just for me?
- A: No.
- Q: Not even one minute after the deadline?
- A: ATFAQ!
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The Mug battles the morning blahs with caffeine and sugar, and if necessary he can summon something stronger. Better at containing evil than actually defeating it, he's known to pack quite a punch, especially during the holiday season. He's most often called upon to alleviate suffering and misery in the early morning hours, and on these missions he's usually accompanied by his faithful sidekick Hair o' the Dog.
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Iron Woman can flatten any opponent within range of her extension cord. She's on call whenever help is needed, but she requires an hour's notice to get ready for any mission.
Nemesis: Humidity Man
Quote: Does this cape make me look fat?
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Green Spanner, distant cousin of the more famous Green Lantern and Green Arrow, left a prestigious Washington job to do covert battle against the shadowy Gnomes of Zurich. He can only make subtle adjustments to any mechanism with his trusty spanner (sometimes mistakenly called The Alan Wrench), but by tweaking the right control at the right time he can maximize his influence.
Sidekick: Green Back, a turtle with a magic pocket watch set to Gold Standard Time
Power Word: Sacagawea!
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Each participant is also encouraged to send a picture of his/her/its superhero in .GIF or .JPG format. If you do not provide a picture, the largely untalented and completely untrained graphic arts staff of Laughton.org will try to assemble one for you from bottle caps, bits of string, bubble wrap, and tinfoil. We make no guarantee that any image we create will actually resemble what you had in mind, so if you're picky, you should send one that you find satisfactory.
If you can't find an image by searching the web and can't draw one yourself, you may want to consider creating one with the HeroMachine from UGO Networks, Incorporated (a subsidiary of the Hearst Corporation). Laughton.org makes no claims about the capability, reliability, suitability, or ease of use of the HeroMachine, but if it weren't so much fun to play with, this contest would probably have been announced a week earlier. Laughton.org is not a subsidiary of the Hearst Corporation. The Hearst Corporation is not a subsidiary of Laughton.org… yet.
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Deadline
Entries must be received no later than midnight, August 5, 2008 (US eastern daylight saving time).
August 5, you say? The Olympic opening ceremony isn't until August 8, you say? Go ahead, say it, but you still have to submit your entry by August 5. For those who insist on having a Darned Good Reason, here are two:
- Olympic soccer competition begins on August 6.
- The staff of Laughton.org needs time to draw all the superheroes who don't have pictures attached to their entries.
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Miscellaneous
- Anyone with an e-mail account is welcome to play. There is no charge.
- You may send only one entry from an e-mail address. If you have more than one address, you may send one entry from each.
- Neither your e-mail address nor any other personal information will appear on this website unless you choose to include it in your comments.
- Illegible, irrational, or improperly formatted entries will be discarded.
- When designing your superhero, please keep in mind that Laughton.org contests are aimed at a family audience. Entries containing libelous, scurrilous, or scandalous text or pictures will be discarded. Yes, we know there's a "Pin-Up Edition" of the HeroMachine. Please exercise good judgment.
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Results From 2004
For your convenience, here are the medals won in the 2004 Olympics in Athens, Greece:
| Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | | Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze | | Country | Gold | Silver | Bronze |
| USA | United States | 35 | 39 | 29 | | RUS | Russia | 27 | 27 | 38 | | CHN | China | 32 | 17 | 14 | | AUS | Australia | 17 | 16 | 16 | | GER | Germany | 14 | 16 | 18 | | JPN | Japan | 16 | 9 | 12 | | FRA | France | 11 | 9 | 13 | | ITA | Italy | 10 | 11 | 11 | | KOR | South Korea | 9 | 12 | 9 | | GBR | Great Britain | 9 | 9 | 12 | | CUB | Cuba | 9 | 7 | 11 | | UKR | Ukraine | 9 | 5 | 9 | | NED | Netherlands | 4 | 9 | 9 | | ROM | Romania | 8 | 5 | 6 | | ESP | Spain | 3 | 11 | 5 | | HUN | Hungary | 8 | 6 | 3 | | GRE | Greece | 6 | 6 | 4 | | BLR | Belarus | 2 | 6 | 7 | | CAN | Canada | 3 | 6 | 3 | | BUL | Bulgaria | 2 | 1 | 9 | | POL | Poland | 3 | 2 | 5 | | BRA | Brazil | 4 | 3 | 3 | | TUR | Turkey | 3 | 3 | 4 | | CZE | Czech Republic | 1 | 3 | 4 | | THA | Thailand | 3 | 1 | 4 | | KAZ | Kazakhstan | 1 | 4 | 3 | | DEN | Denmark | 2 | 0 | 6 | | SWE | Sweden | 4 | 1 | 2 | | KEN | Kenya | 1 | 4 | 2 | | ETH | Ethiopia | 2 | 3 | 2 | | AUT | Austria | 2 | 4 | 1 | | NOR | Norway | 5 | 0 | 1 | | SVK | Slovakia | 2 | 2 | 2 | | RSA | South Africa | 1 | 3 | 2 | | IRI | Iran | 2 | 2 | 2 | | ARG | Argentina | 2 | 0 | 4 | | TPE | Chinese Taipei | 2 | 2 | 1 | | SUI | Switzerland | 1 | 1 | 3 | | JAM | Jamaica | 2 | 1 | 2 | | UZB | Uzbekistan | 2 | 1 | 2 | | PRK | North Korea | 0 | 4 | 1 | | NZL | New Zealand | 3 | 2 | 0 | | EGY | Egypt | 1 | 1 | 3 | | CRO | Croatia | 1 | 2 | 2 | | AZE | Azerbaijan | 1 | 0 | 4 | | MEX | Mexico | 0 | 3 | 1 | | INA | Indonesia | 1 | 1 | 2 | | GEO | Georgia | 2 | 2 | 0 | | SLO | Slovenia | 0 | 1 | 3 | | LAT | Latvia | 0 | 4 | 0 | | POR | Portugal | 0 | 2 | 1 | | MAR | Morocco | 2 | 1 | 0 | | LTU | Lithuania | 1 | 2 | 0 | | EST | Estonia | 0 | 1 | 2 | | BEL | Belgium | 1 | 0 | 2 | | ZIM | Zimbabwe | 1 | 1 | 1 | | CHL | Chile | 2 | 0 | 1 | | NGR | Nigeria | 0 | 0 | 2 | | FIN | Finland | 0 | 2 | 0 | | BAH | Bahamas | 1 | 0 | 1 | | VEN | Venezuela | 0 | 0 | 2 | | SCG | Serbia-Montenegro | 0 | 2 | 0 | | ISR | Israel | 1 | 0 | 1 | | TRI | Trinidad-Tobago | 0 | 0 | 1 | | IRL | Ireland | 1 | 0 | 0 | | IND | India | 0 | 1 | 0 | | COL | Columbia | 0 | 0 | 1 | | CMR | Cameroon | 1 | 0 | 0 | | UAE | United Arab Emirates | 1 | 0 | 0 | | SYR | Syria | 0 | 0 | 1 | | PAR | Paraguay | 0 | 1 | 0 | | MGL | Mongolia | 0 | 0 | 1 | | HKG | Hong Kong | 0 | 1 | 0 | | ERI | Eritrea | 0 | 0 | 1 | | DOM | Dominican Republic | 1 | 0 | 0 |
*Good and Evil © The Supreme Being, used by permission, all rites reserved.
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